If You Can Kill Two Birds With One Stone, You Can Heal Two Birds With One Smile

          

           You stare.  I’m okay with that. 

I stare at people without meaning to, because I like to watch them and see what crazy things they do. 

Such strange creatures we are. 

What a strange creature I am.  I’m bald.  I look sick.  I have no breasts.   I look happy and out in the world.  What am I? 

I totally get it.  I’d stare too.

I just wish you would smile more when I catch you staring.  It makes the difference between being okay with it and not.  It makes the difference between me being happy and me being angry. 

Don’t leer.  Don’t judge.  Don’t blindly and mindlessly look.  See me and smile.

It’s the only courtesy you have to offer.

I usually smile when someone sees me stare at them.  It shows them I watch out of curiosity.  It shows them I am friendly.  It shows, “I’m sorry I was staring at you just now, but its okay because I like what I see.” 

Sometimes you don’t like what you see, because you can see some horrible things.  I don’t smile then.

But I am not horrible.  I am not causing the world pain or strife.  I am not doing evil or creating hate.  I am simply a girl with cancer.  If you do not like what you see it is only because of the way I look.

Shame on you.

I don’t like the way you look at me when you don’t like the way I look.  Not because it makes me hate how I look, but because for one minute I second guess my comfort in being out in this world, and I dislike you for making me feel uncomfortable.

Now you are creating the hate.  See what you have done?

Now I stare at you and I don’t smile.  There are so many you’s and so many missed smiles.  I couldn’t count them if I wanted, but I’d never want to.  No one can be happy while counting missed smiles. 

I read a book by Gary D. Schmidt titled Okay for Now.  In it is a drawing by John James Audubon of two birds caught in a storm in the air. The main character pictured them being blown in opposite directions by fierce winds and only having this one brief moment in each other’s lives.

The main character redrew the birds with smiles.

This is how it should be.

I don’t know you and where your wind is blowing.  You don’t know me and where my wind is blowing.  But for some reason life has brought our paths together for this one moment in time.

I’d like to make it count.  I’d like to make it positive.  I’d like it if you would smile back at me when I catch your eyes watching me. 

We only have this one chance to fly by and feel good.  We only have this one chance to do it right.

           

            So smile.  It’s so easy. 

Simply…Beautifully…Sweetly…

Smile. 

It can change everything.