Simply Put

            This will be a four part post of updates.  I am working on several other detailed posts that will be up soon, but I have gotten some responses that have lead me to believe a general update is very much needed and I absolutely agree!!  Here is it is:

1.)

 I’ve started chemotherapy again.  As a matter of fact today was chemo dose 3 of 12.  Originally I was scheduled to do a drug called Taxotere every three weeks in large doses.  This was changed last minute and I am doing smaller doses of a drug called Taxol every Thursday for twelve weeks.  With the last chemo I had such low drops into chemo madness and then slowly worked my way to feeling normal again.  With this new set up I should be able to maintain a more continuous state of not feeling great, but not have the devastating and obliterating experience of taking large doses at once.  I really couldn’t be happier with this decision, because I was honestly very nervous about re-starting chemo after that last treatment and how much I struggled with it.  This drug is cumulative, so I will get sicker as I go, but so far it has been very manageable!  I’m not experiencing any nausea!  I feel fatigue, some bone pain, headaches, some throat pain and just a general feeling of ickiness, but nothing to a degree that has not been manageable.

                It helps that I have to take steroids on this chemo.  I take the steroids on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.  Wednesday is this crazy day of wild manic energy where I feel like super woman.  I’ve never been a fan of steroids and I would never recommend people take them unless necessary, because they can do some horrible things for your body, but I must say that Wednesdays I feel fantastic.  Thursdays I take my chemo with a large dose of steroids, and I feel mostly fine.  I still have more energy than you’d think a person who just took chemo should, and I feel happy and content.  Friday begins a battle between the chemo and my last day of steroids.  I have hours of crazy steroid induced activity and hours where I can’t move a foot from the couch without feeling exhausted.  Saturdays and Sundays seem to be the hardest, but that is okay.  I am pretty much out of it those days, but I don’t mind because so far they are the only bad days and they still do not even touch the horrors from the previous chemo.  Once Monday hits I am tired, but I start rebuilding my strength for my next batch of steroids on Wednesday.

                There has not been any crazy chemo brain, just slight fogginess.  There haven’t even been any crazy antics to write about which is good news when you think about it.  I’ll make sure to keep you all posted on how things progress, but you should know I’m actually handling this chemo much better than the last one so far.  So yay!  J

2.)

                I’ve returned to work!!!!!!  My doctor cleared me to work every Wednesday since as mentioned above I am on steroids that pump me full of energy.  I go in and do all of the paperwork for the café for the week and it feels so good to be back.  It honestly feels like coming home.  I have missed everyone there so much and to be a part of that network of coworkers and customers again has really done wonders for my spirits and happiness.  As you all read in my last blog I was craving the normalcy of returning to work, and it was definitely something I needed even if for just one day a week.  It feels good to be productive, helpful and using my business skill sets again.  Thank you to everyone there for all of your support and to the people who gave me encouragement as I tried to figure out a way to return!

3.)

                It is time for me to share my pathology report.  I’ve had my report since the end of June, but I have only shared it with a few people.  My pathology came back completely clear!  After surgery they sent everything they removed in to be tested to see how well I responded to the first chemotherapy.  They could not find any trace of the tumor left!  Not only is this not all that common, but it adds a nice bonus to my percentage success rate!

While the results of my report are very good, I was scared to share them.  I still have a long road ahead of me.  It is best to think of the tumor as a factory sometimes.  The factory may be shut down, but all of the products it produced while operating could still be floating around in the environment.  This fact, combined with the fact that my genetic testing came back positive, means that despite no tumor I must still complete the full treatment plan.  I still have to do the 12 weeks of chemo.  I still have to do the 6 weeks of radiation.  I still have to have my ovaries removed.  I was worried about people being overly excited that I had won such a large battle, when the war is still not over.  However, I have come to the belief of, “The hell with that.  I’m kicking the crap out of this cancer and I want you to celebrate with me.”  I also know that every single one of you have been in this battle with me and I want you to know that we have accomplished something great so far.  It does not mean that future tests will come back negative, so I didn’t want to get people’s (including my own) hopes up too high, but for once I got a freaking test that wasn’t more bad news and I just wanted to say, “Awesome.  Pure and beautiful awesome,” and to share that feeling with all of the people who have been by my side.  Thank you and thank you for sharing in this battle with me.

                There is another reason I have chosen not to share this until now, but it is a much longer topic that I think warrants an entry on its own so I’ll discuss that later…

4.)

                I wanted to thank everyone for their responses to my last blog.  I was really in need for some advice and changes, and I was touched by how many people found themselves’ facing the same fears I was experiencing.  Since that blog I have put a lot of thought into my life and my choices and I have come up with some answers that have offered me immeasurable peace.  As with number three, this is too in depth of a topic to post on an update blog, but I am happy to talk about it with anyone and you might see a post soon about it.

                Please keep checking my blog.  I have so many different things I’m dying to talk about, but I really was way past due for a simple update.  See you all again very soon.  J